I dug myself out of a hole, only to fall back into a new ditch I probably should’ve been jumping over (or burying?) all this time.
I don’t believe it myself yet subconsciously, but the only thing to do is to move forward. Even if it means taking a step back first.
In a few weeks, I’ll be the only one left @ the NIA. Many of my good friends will begin their next phase in their lives. It’ll be interesting to see how things turn out, as time moves on after all. However, having to acknowledge that a significant portion of my “support structure” throughout the previous incident will no longer be around… is a little disappointing.
Still, maybe there’ll be a silver lining somewhere. And speaking of which, I desperately need to hustle to make sure I can move on to my next phase with minimum hassle as well, Carpe diem.
Speaking of clouds, it’s burning hot and after what must be a week and a half of non-stop sun burnination and stupidity (hint: government and NIA involved, da?) it’s pouring thunderstorms.
It’s also been a while since contact, guess a month prior an incident must have slapped some… “sense?” into the dynamics of what was left between us. To be frank I still have no idea why the other guy has jealousy issues. Makes things easier for me though, although it also saddens me to lose out on a very good friend.
Oh, and someone buy me a bucket of motivation, with a side of power. Mine’s being melted by the summer heat hahaha.
Weird introspective thought.
Must learn outcome independence!
Botched my planning on not having to work this week. On the other hand, this has been a really therapeutic morning. I need to immerse myself in more chill spaces like this on a more regular basis.
Alright, round 3 of emo crap.
Still think about her way too often, way too much. I’m starting to think I’m masochistic or something.
I guess what I’m in dire need of is some proper emotional tempering. I mean, if logically everything is sound and works out, then what’s up with the emotional crap I keep putting myself through? The woman’s bloody engaged FFS!?! I need to move on… bad. It’s already been 2 months since the break up. 1 ~ 2 weeks since no talking and I’m relapsing into some crappy doggy bowl pining mode inside.
Talk about out-of-state.
Sidenote: Avengers tonight!
A lifetime of “experience” and knowledge would have never prepared me still for the conecept of “letting go”. Why is it so hard?
And I’m just dealing with the carrots and peas of the whole affair, what if I get the big kahuna?
I find it ironic that a few days ago I was actually wallowing in the concept of boredom or a lack of specific things to do in a timely manner, to only be struck with a sense of “goddamnit, time does fly.” This moment slammed down on me after discovering Devil Survivor 2 was released Feb 28. I remember anticipating this game for ages. Who knew it has already been almost 2 months since its release?
Took advantage of the 3 day weekend to get some shopping done with a friend. Switching a sense of style is a weird thing. We’ll see if it’s for the better or not in the near future. Unfortunately I had to work Saturday/Sunday which means Monday now feels like a Wednesday, ha.