Holidays

Alright, vacation!

Final score on the exam. 155/157. Acceptable. Gonna take it again. Funny I got pretty much the same score as my friend did, and she only spent a few weekends of a month studying for it lol.

Apparently I only write when I’m nervous, or when I’m thinking negatively. Wonder if I can change that in the near future.

Vacations sure are nice when they’re lazy though…. can’t argue against that.

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GRE T -2

Studies are going along juuuuust GRRREEEAA-T.

Ok, not really. But hopefully I won’t panick tomorrow. I only have 1 more day after tonight. Just stick to the exercises and try to keep a clear head tomorrow.

Sidebar: Lots of engagements and marriages happening this year. Whoop whoop. Also a small hint of jealousy. Also a new favorite time waster. Answering silly questions on okcupid.

The new word is discovery. Self discovery, future discovery, land discovery, culture discovery.

Also the new Avatar/Airbender series (Legend of Korra) is amazing. Pity the movie sucked.

Timeout

A quick break from everything.

I’ve scheduled a good number of days off, so I can better prepare for the exam. A nice change of pace should help me  … ease in and out of things a little.

Dad came back unexpectantly, didn’t say that much. I think for him not much needed to be said. No wonder I’ve always been quiet growing up. His method has always been just to let peace flow through. Odd that it seems to be his element. Mom’s the same, cooking and working to no end just so things are ok in her eyes. Parents fly out tonight.

Wonder if freedom will be a welcome thing, or if the loneliness will settle back in. Still get into little verbal matches with mom, but it’s no big deal. At least she’s learned to control her anger a little. I think I need to learn to manipulate mine a bit more. It should be a useful tool if done correctly, otherwise it accomplishes nothing and only sabotages my own self progress.

Still needlessly think about that damn girl. That’s the confusing part. At least I’m enjoying other aspects of life almost as much as before. Hopefully more than before.

I’ve decided to look into Carnegie’s programs. I really like the idea of being able to study there. Gotta find some more recommendations to shine though. Maybe I can put in some requests for a piece from one of the ranking officers for an English recommendation.

That reminds me, after this exam is out of the way I’ll need to pay a visit to David. Get those entrepreneurial juices flowing again.

A side note. I’ve begun to notice that things are a little political no matter what. The Machiavellian aspect of everyone shines everywhere. Should read up more on it in the near future. Could use a few more weapons in life 🙂

Who doesn’t like to go to war? (Ok, actual war is really terrible but conceptually it’s glorified as hell).

Tightrope

Following failure, one must stand up again. Brush off that dirt off your shoulder, and look forward to a new beginning.

I feel like I’m on a tightrope these days, constantly seeking balance to find “my center”. Sometimes I feel like I’m lost, emotionally disoriented, and unable or unwilling to integrate my sense of being with some very congruent and obvious facts of life. (I mean facts as in both facts of my life, as well as facts of life in general).

It feels like a struggle, but part of me knows it’s not. While it sounds to simple to actually do, I keep hesitating on doing the right thing, the obvious thing.

So, I feel like I’m on a tightrope. Any acrobats around? I gotta walk to the other side, or learn how I can do a Scottish jig on the damn thing.

Failure

Hate it.

Gotta keep poking that head out there into the wild though. Pain in the ass.

Gotta keep going till I succeed.

Gotta keep getting up again.

Gotta bear the pain.

Gotta suck it up.

Gotta be a man.

Adventures

Make sure you’re constantly experiencing little adventures in your life.

Re-psych

Wish I had more time to relax proper. Or maybe I just wish I had more efficiency while relaxing.

Either way, time for a round-2. Gotta get my mind in the game, up the difficulty or pain a notch.

I’d rather not miss out on any more awesome opportunities.